I am sure we have all been in that situation where we step into a situation to help 'guide' or 'Micro Manage' our 'littles' through a tough patch with a friend at a play date or on the school grounds etc., Did this happen for you as a child? How about the involvement we parents have in school and our children's learning these days - its involved and dedicated - at least from my perspective... For the most part, we parent differently than our parents did with us years ago. We also teach and learn differently from the days not long ago... Personally, my parents for one example, were very un-involved relative to how I am today as a parent, not to mention as an educator. My parents once let me walk to school at a very early age, on any given day, they asked me to pack my lunch, they asked me to be responsible with my manners and my relationships with my friends. I had a sense of freedom and independence, and I was a very strong, capable, young girl - by design - was this their goal from helping me feel this independence or was it innately my character? Looking back, I am amazed that I was given so much 'freedom,' and wonder how I 'turned' out 'okay'...But WE did. I made sure I studied for my spelling quizzes and I read my book to my siblings and I also managed my ups and downs with my friends too! If I was not able to, my parents called it a 'kid issue' and were close by to support, but not Bulldoze or Snowplow away the 'life' happenings in front of me. I wonder how that helped me in terms of managing anxiety in a day in age that anxiety can overtake our classrooms and play dates and activities around the community. Today, I struggle with not being involved enough as a parent, thinking I need to 'be there' for my kids more often. With my job as an Assistant Head of Christ Church Cathedral School and this thriving business, Seedlings Daycare, the advisory committees I am on etc., Its busy and very involved. Yet, I know I am there for them all the time, but struggle with the parent 'guilt' that we get. (I know you know what I am talking about...) Like many parents, I feel I need to check in after a play date on my children's behaviour. I feel the need to ask the parent of the play date, "Did they use their manners, where they helpful and did they clean up after themselves..." But then I stop...think...and realize what message am I sending to my listening 'little' that is standing beside me? Of course they did and of course they can, I taught them so, in many other situations. But asking and ‘micro’ managing - doesn't that 'belittle' all the work that I have done so far with them? I tend to want to 'micro' manage their day, but really, do I need to? Is it necessary?
Here is a TED talk that brought more thought and perspective to my parenting and my work as an educator... Let me know what you think?